So, it's finally Summertime. I find myself thinking of how slow the weeks seem to be going now that we are so close to meeting baby, and then I feel like I was just coming back from the holiday break to school. Crazy.
As the days pass on, and the contractions appear more commonly now, I am starting to feel like perhaps we should listen to the doctor and pack our bags. It appears that morning sickness, which ps, if you've never been preggo or lived with one of us, morning sickness has nothing to do with the morning. It can slamdango you whenever the Hell it feels like it, for me it is the lovely hours between 10-1130 pm, which is honestly okay, since I am not starting off my day horking, but I can get it over with and then just pass out and forget about it until I am up an hour later to pee. It also is NOT something that only occurs at the start of this journey. I am the lucky lady that also is experiencing it the last month as well. I guess I should be happy though, I had a good run from month 4-8 of feeling great.
Last night was one of our most challenging and eye opening nights. I fully believe that my tears had nothing to do with pregnancy or hormones or all that stuff people blame it on, they were due to the most difficult conversations and decisions I think we've ever made. It has come time to update all of our "paperwork" and now it is no longer just about us. We have another beautiful little person to take care of and make sure that she is taken care of just in case. I mean, we've had the predeployment discussions, (which those still suck equally as bad) but frankly, it scared the crap out of me talking about what I wanted just in case. That is not something I have ever thought of, and I am unsure if it was the concept that I would be leaving behind my daughter and husband or having to just think about what I wanted in that case that completely was to much for me, but I just lost it. I cry every time Nate and I have ever discussed it, but this time it just felt like an entirely different experience, now that we are planning for our daughter, not just our "stuff." Yes, I know it is so important to have this all in place, but I never in my wildest dreams realized how stressful and upsetting it would be getting things on paper. It's amazing how much you can love someone and worry about them before they are even part of your world.
On a lighter and more comedic note, I've been on the hunt for those glamorous maternity bras. Well folks, let me just tell you.....God was in a joking mood when he made me, because finding things that will fit these girls NOW is tough enough, but finding some decent ones that will whip open discreetly, support 2 cantaloupes, and not be terribly ugly, has proven to be the current challenge. Not to mention, they do not sell this size in stores, let alone the size I will balloon up to in about a month, and the ones online are nowhere to be found unless you are willing to spend 70+ on each boulder holder. I mean come on people. Apparently, all that money we are going to save not buying formula is in turn going to go into nursing bras. What a crock.
All in all, life is going well. We are happy, stable and thankful to be surrounded by such amazing family and friends here at home and all over the country. We have no idea what the future has in store for us as far as the Army or where we head next, but we have learned to roll with the punches the best that we can and I will promise to update on that as soon as I know anything. But as the saying goes, people plan and God (and the Army) laugh.
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